The
Magic Hour is defined as "the first and last hour of sunlight each day." I love the last hour of daylight... especially in the fall. The crispness of the air... the colors... even the smell. Tonight I chased the light. I waited. I attempted the nearly impossible by keeping three little boys occupied while I waited for just the right moment. After one session, I'll call this the "headache session", we waited for this short window of time and took full advantage of my favorite hour.
The "headache session" left me asking myself a question that my husband and I have been asking ourselves more often than we'd like in recent weeks. "What have we done wrong?" Our older two boys just refused to listen. Every word either ignored or the opposite done. I had three other adults helping me with my three small boys for crying out loud! This should be a piece of cake! Social situations leave Jon and I exhausted and frustrated. Where one child runs around like a crazy person, the other throws a temper tantrum large enough to frighten the scariest of monsters! Is it like this always? No. I can plow through Target with all three with the greatest of ease... and leave with all of my sanity... and even thankful for such wonderful behavior. But take the family trick-or-treating. We have one child running into people's houses completely driven by impulse. Another child lacking focus or restraint near vehicles. This is where Jon and I look at each other and ask... "Where did we go wrong?" This question doesn't start and end with this situation. It is school for both of them! When you have one child with a certain set of issues it is one thing... but then a second having them... one begins to question if you are doing a good job as a parent.
I know it shouldn't have been this difficult. People say "oh, they are just boys being boys." No, some of this is NOT boys being boys. Some of this is a child who is five years old reading four years ahead of himself. A child who gets overwhelmed and over stimulated in large social situations. A child who gets bored... frustrated... and emotional where other children "deal." Then we have a younger brother following in some of these footsteps with behavior.
After the "headache session" I watched the sky start to glow and watching my opportunity for the photo shoot that I was hoping for slip away. "Ok guys, I am going to give you a chance to redeem yourselves after that nightmare of a session. You've got one shot here... do you think you can do this?" I gathered my equipment and said a little prayer: "please let me be able to do this on my own." Then I unloaded my three little monkeys and instructed them on where to go...
After ten minutes of pure bliss... watching my three beautiful children... close as brothers can be... I realized that we have been asking ourselves the wrong question.
The question isn't "What have we done wrong?"...
It's "What have we done right!"
We have a brilliant five year old. He challenges us, makes us laugh, and loves with all his heart.
We have an amazing three year old. He is strong, affectionate, and driven.
They both march to their own drum. And we may not understand everything they do... but it's not our job to. Our job is to love them for who they are.
(Oh, and we certainly can not forget our cute-as-can-be ten month old who has the entire family mesmerized by his cuteness and funny antics.)
We certainly have done a few things right!
